The time is now.

I must say that things have been going quite well so far this week.  Of course things always seem to start off well, it's the beginning, beginnings are easy.  You're motivated, things are new, you have a strong desire to succeed.  The tough part comes later, once you get in a rhythm, once you get comfortable.  I have been too comfortable that past several months.  Yes we had a baby, yes I took some time off for injuries but each time I came back my head was less and less in the game.  I really thought I could get fit and lose weight working out twice a week, maybe I didn't truly believe it but it was what I was telling myself anyway.  Bad idea.  If you have convinced yourself you are doing what is best but you are not achieving your goals then you have veered off the path towards success.  I veered off, then took a U-turn and ended up in a ditch.  I needed some time to regroup and remember what is was I really wanted.  I want to be fit, I want to be healthy for myself but now also for my family, and I want the fit body.

The latest craze around these parts lately has been soccer and of course our US hero, Tim Howard.  After watching him defend against Belgium I wanted to read about his diet and exercise routines, because frankly he is a friggin beast.  He does Paleo which is not something I have really looked into much yet, but he said something when asked about his diet that struck me deeply, especially since at the time it was something that had been on my mind the moment I was reading it.  "Sure, I like ice cream, but when you keep a healthy lifestyle, its: Do you prefer sweets and crappy food, or do you prefer to have a nice body?  It depends on what you want more."  I thought to myself, I like ice cream too, I love sweets and crappy food, but I think recently it has finally started to settle in that I want a nice body too.  Not just that I want it but I want it more.  Just like the feeling I had yesterday was better then one hour extra of sleep, I want the fit body more than I want junk food.  Yes, I enjoy making a Bobby, with extra peanut butter, but that feeling of my clothes fitting better, or tightening up my belt by one loop, or that compliment someone pays you when it's obvious you have lost weight feels so much better.  Oh, so very much better.  It's time.  I am not getting any younger.  I have never had the fit body that I have always dreamed about.  There have been times I have come close but this isn't horseshoes or hand grenades, close doesn't count.  It's time to achieve, instead of just dream.  I am ready, and I accept the challenge.  Game on.  The time is now.

Last night I dreamed of success, today I woke up and worked for it.

So I have to admit the 4:45 wake up call was not too bad.  It's essentially only an hour earlier than I normally get up.  I made sure my bag was packed and ready to go last night so all I had to do was get up, kiss the wife goodbye and be on my merry way.  I have not been to the gym in a very long time, plus my gym has recently done some remodeling so I didn't really know what to expect this morning but I did have a plan.  My plan was to do a 25 minute interval run and then some upper body lifting exercises.  Because it was my first day and I was unsure of how long everything would take (other than the run since it was timed for 25 minutes) I probably will do things a bit different next time.  I had to find the locker rooms, figure out where everything was in the gym and then get situated.  I was also unsure of how long it would take to get ready in the locker room, different place, different routine, a lot unknowns.  So I got to the gym about 5:05, and was running by 5:10.  This is the interval run I did and really enjoyed it.  Found it through the interwebs yesterday.

After a few minutes of cool down walking I decided against the lifting exercises.  My plan was to be in the shower by 6 and on the road by about 6:20 so with only 25 minutes left to workout I knew I would only get through a few sets of a few different exercises and I wanted more than that so I decided to do as much of the 5-4-3-2-1 workout that I could with the remaining time.  I got through three 10% sets (10% = 10 burpees, 20 push ups, 30 sit ups, 40 squats and 50 jumping jacks) and then used the remaining time to work on some shoulder strengthening and stretching, only about 5 minutes.  I have been lax on my shoulder exercises and really need to devote some time to that, my shoulder is still so weak and its been over a year now.  Finished up about 6:05 and was in the car by 6:25.  Boom.

Now sitting at my desk I feel fantastic.  Ate a banana on the ride in, crushed another egg sammy and am now sipping some coffee.  Because I have spent the last several years working out in the afternoon I have forgotten about the feeling of being done with my workout by 6 AM.  Damn this is a glorious feeling.  No more worrying about the heat this afternoon, there is no way something can come up and distract me or take me away from my workout.  It's done.  I like that a lot.

That extra hour of sleep is not worth how I feel right now which is absolutely fan-friggin-tastic!!

Keep moving forward.

Just as I suspected, gained 5.4 pounds.  Ouch.  I now weigh 220 pounds.  Essentially in three months I have gained back all the weight I have lost since I started writing this blog.  Well one pound less, whoopdedoo...

Well at least I had a good start to my first day back on.  Boot camp last night was miserable, I mean marvelous.  The goal was to do as many rounds as possible in the 60 min of class (less warm up and stretching) so really 45 minutes.  Yeah... I saw on Facebook that other clients were able to get in 4 plus rounds, oh how I miss the good old days. I was able to do a little over two.  Others in class did three or a little over.  I will get back there its just going to take sometime.  At least now I know where I stand, next time I will do better.  That is the outlook I am going to have from this point on.  I may not be there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday.  Thanks Tom for the motivational words earlier today.  You honestly made me feel better, its about establishing a base and then keep moving forward.  I knew there was a reason we kept you around...  I have set a reminder in Outlook for thirty days from now, I will try this again in a month and see how I do.

Try the workout yourself and let me know how many rounds you get in.

I have a meeting this afternoon and cannot make it to class but my goal is to get in at least a quick (again the term is used loosely here) three miler.  I am ready and motivated after seeing the scale last night.  Back to counting and writing everything down today!  One step at a time but those steps keep me moving forward.

Sabbatical

²sabbatical

 noun

: a period of time during which someone does not work at his or her regular job and is able to rest, travel, do research, etc.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good one, I think that is the best word to describe my last two weeks.  Better than Suck-Ass-Lazy-Dipshit, because frankly that is not appropriate for a blog post headline.  Regardless I am back and ready.  

Goals for the week:

Get the frig back on track - Start by going to Weight Watchers tonight to get an initial weigh in on the books.  Estimated weight gain to be 5 pounds.  I will report back tomorrow with complete details.

Work the frig out - Starting tonight with a boot camp class, I truly hope I can even remember how to get there...  Four workouts, that is my goal for the week.  Maybe two boot camps and two runs.  Runs are easier (I use the term loosely here since I am fat and out of shape again) for me since I can do them at the house which allows me more time at home with Hila and Eli, or Heli as I am now going to start referring to them as a single unit.  Look, it makes sense in my head okay.

Help Hila to work the frig out - She has been cleared to workout now and I want to help her just as she has helped me.  I will do whatever shes needs with Eli so she can start back on the workout hot tamale train.  She is someone who greatly benefits from a good workout.  Much like me it's her stress reliever and for the past eight weeks she has not been granted that luxury.  That time has come to an end, I am here to help my love.  Let me know what you need and consider it done.

Blog the frig daily - I think that one is pretty much self explanatory, please feel free to reach me by phone, email, or facsimile transmission if you need further explanation.  Thank you.

Looks like a pretty good plan for the next 7 days.  Wish me luck, although at this point I don't need luck, once my mind is made up it's as good as done...

Accept what you can't change, change what you can't accept.

Everyone says the husband gains weight throughout his wife's pregnancy, sympathy weight they call it.  Well for me I did not even gain one single pound, yeay go me....until the baby was born.  Needless to say it has been a downward spiral of destruction since February 24th.  The overeating has gotten out of hand, eating out all time, ordering delivery simply due to convenience, neither of which are bad until you just order whatever it is you want all the time.  I am okay with treating myself occasionally but every single meal gets to be a bit out of hand.  Sometimes we gain weight and even though the scale says so you don't really feel it yet.  I can feel it now, I can feel it is my belly.  I am to that point where my pants are tighter, I feel it when I sit.  Time to get this in check, today.  As of this morning I have convinced myself to get back on the good food bandwagon.  It won't be easy, it never is, but once the decision has been made it's much harder to renege.  I don't want to fail, so putting a goal out there for all to see makes that decision to cheat or give up that much harder.  I am back on track with counting my food, if you bite it, write it, that is my motto starting today!  I easily lose weight when I follow Weight Watchers to the tee, the tricky part is actually following it.  I need to get back to going to meetings and not just occasionally showing up to weight in.  I can no longer accept this path of mediocrity, time for a change, time to shine.  See you on the other side.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

The last ten days or so I have been in a funk.  Actually it is more than that, I have felt utterly unmotivated.  I was going to title this post "Unmotivated" but then I started thinking that is not a strong enough word.  The word I am looking for is "Uninspired".  I have not wanted to do anything other then be home with my family.  I have not worked out, not pushed myself at the office, not payed any attention to my food intake and frankly I have just been going through the motions.  The questions that have been running though my mind have been "why don't I want to workout" and "why don't I feel like working hard".  I don't know the answers to these questions but I have figured out that I cannot wait for inspiration to come to me, I need to go out and get it.

I think that I have actually made myself more lazy just by being lazy the last couple of weeks.  Granted I am still trying to figure out this whole fatherhood thing.  How I can do what I want while still being home for my son and my wife?  I work a long day, I am gone for over 10 hours before I workout.  It's hard to get home at 7 PM and only have two or three hours with my family before we have to start getting to bed so we can be up half the night taking care of a newborn.  I want to be home, I want to relieve my wife who has taken care of Eli all day.  Plus I want time with my son, just me and him.  The hours are limited and I am still working out that balance.  Balance is a great word for this because that is exactly what it is. Finding that balance between what I want personally and what I want for my family.  Laziness is not the answer, neither is waiting around to be inspired, because right now I feel like Beetlejuice when he is waiting for his 9,998,383,750,000 number to be called and they are now serving number 3.  It's time to make my own number 4.

Just sitting around waiting to feel good, or saying I will do that tomorrow does not push you any farther than the other side of the couch.  I am tired of feeling like crap and I have let this "funk" I have been in get the better of me.  It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get out there and make a difference.  Motivation and inspiration have escaped me as of late but I am on a quest to go and find them.  I am not sure where this journey will take me but I am finally prepared to start.

I will either find a way, or make one.

I feel confident is saying that the past two weeks have been rather busy.  Family has been in town staying with us, we have had a couple of photo shoots, a few sleepless nights, I have worked all week and what was the last thing...oh yeah we have a baby.  We are working on getting into some kind of rhythm here but we have not found it quite yet.  Luckily Eli sleeps for about 3-4 hours at a time with his most alert hours being from 2 to 4 AM.  So Hila gets up and feeds him, then I wake up and change him and rock him back to sleep so Hila can get back to bed.  The system seems to work and we both do our part.  Even though it is a rather rough hour of the morning, I enjoy this time with him.  It is my time to talk, sing and look at him.  Just me and him.  Man to man.  Father and son.

Remember all that talk about making time, and wasting time well now it's time to put my money where my mouth is and make some time in these crazy days ahead.  See the thing is I have not worked out at all, well I ran Burke Lake one day, but that is it.  Have not eaten well either.  I mean Ben and Jerry's just released new flavors, needless to say those flavors have gotten the better of my judgement as of late.  All of that is coming to a screeching halt after this weekend.  In the next week or so family will start to pack it up and head back to their respective establishments and a sense of normalcy will being to return.  I need to get back to bootcamp, I need to keep up with my fitness and healthy eating.  I am okay with putting something on the back burner for a week or two because of some extenuating circumstances but two weeks is my limit.  I have already had a rough start to the year with my back injury so my fitness level is continuously dropping.  I was considering running the Cherry Blossom 10 miler but with only 4 weeks left to train I am afraid I could not commit to a rigorous training schedule on top of everything else we have going on.  I have quite a bit on my plate right now and that might be too much, I also don't want to unnecessarily take away time from my family.  Bootcamp, running, writing class, work, fatherhood, husbandhood, that's a lot of hats to wear at one time.  Instead of juggling them all and dropping one every now and then I need to find a hat the fits for all scenario's.  I need to find a happy medium, it cannot be all or nothing.  This will take some time and some hard work to figure it all out but I will.  Either I will find a way or I will make one.  That's just how I do.

Good to be back.

It's official, first sweat broken of the New Year, oh how glorious it was.  Some back story first.  Damn garage door broke on Sunday.  The huge spring snapped in half and when it broke the whole house shook like the crazy neighbor lady drove into the side of the house, scared the bejesus out of us.  Anyway, repair man came yesterday, fixed it and installed a silent belt drive garage door opener.  The joy of that silence is overwhelming, there is no longer the sound of a freight train running through the left side of the house every time the door is opened or closed.  Of course the garage is right below the nursery so we wanted to get this replaced anyway, things really do have a way of working themselves out don't they?  Where was I going with all this, oh yes, yesterday.  Due to the time constraint combination of meeting the pediatrician, Northern Virginia traffic, and a repair man being at the house, I had just about 32 minutes to run, change and get out of the house.  So I skipped the gym, and the warmth therein and ran outside.  I bundled up, hit the streets and did a quick three miler.  Holy frozen lungs.  Just like riding a bike, except no bike and takes a bit longer.  Not going to lie, I felt great.  I needed a run, I needed to sweat and I loved it.  Unfortunately I can't do any kind of workout tonight since Tuesday is my writing class night but I should be back to class tomorrow.  I am already looking forward to that feeling after a good solid workout.  It is like no other.

Time to get to work!

Not quite the start to the week I was hoping for but I will make it work.  The plan was to make it back to class tonight but I forgot that we had scheduled a "meet the new pediatrician" appointment tonight, smack dab in the middle of class.  Oh well, gym instead.  I am thinking three mile run and then some core strength training (excellent suggestion Bill, thank you).  At least it will be warm in the gym!  That reminds me, I need to charge my iPod.

All my excuses for the past six weeks have ended.  No more construction in the house, baby shower is over, holidays have come and gone, back issue is resolved for the time being.  Life is back to normal finally.  That means no more BS, no more lame excuses.  No more "hey is Saturday so lets go out to lunch and then order  in dinner."  No more pizza for lunch, no more late night snacking.  It has gotten a bit out of hand these last few weeks but no more my friends.  Hila has sent me off with an amazing breakfast, soup and sandwich for lunch and some healthy snacks.  I am ready to get back to it.

I wish it were easy for me to find some kind of middle ground with eating.  It is all or nothing it seems, I either am all in or it's sayonara sucka, and I don't really know why.  You would think that while I could not workout I would be even more mindful of what I was eating.  Not so much, I just pretty much stopped paying attention entirely.  I have not been to a weigh in for about two months.  There is a weigh in tonight, if we have time after meeting the pediatrician I will go.  It's time.  I need to make myself accountable, otherwise I will just continue down this same path of mediocrity.  Time to shine folks.  We have no more than five or six weeks left before our lives are completely different with Baby D coming, I want to make the best of the time left.  I will go to the gym, I will eat better, I will get back into shape.  Believe me when I tell you that two months off  from working out is a long time.  It will be tough but I am ready.  I've been ready for weeks, I have just been lazy.  Not lying on the couch lazy, but lazy in my efforts to be healthy.  That time has come and gone.  Time to get to work!