If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

The last ten days or so I have been in a funk.  Actually it is more than that, I have felt utterly unmotivated.  I was going to title this post "Unmotivated" but then I started thinking that is not a strong enough word.  The word I am looking for is "Uninspired".  I have not wanted to do anything other then be home with my family.  I have not worked out, not pushed myself at the office, not payed any attention to my food intake and frankly I have just been going through the motions.  The questions that have been running though my mind have been "why don't I want to workout" and "why don't I feel like working hard".  I don't know the answers to these questions but I have figured out that I cannot wait for inspiration to come to me, I need to go out and get it.

I think that I have actually made myself more lazy just by being lazy the last couple of weeks.  Granted I am still trying to figure out this whole fatherhood thing.  How I can do what I want while still being home for my son and my wife?  I work a long day, I am gone for over 10 hours before I workout.  It's hard to get home at 7 PM and only have two or three hours with my family before we have to start getting to bed so we can be up half the night taking care of a newborn.  I want to be home, I want to relieve my wife who has taken care of Eli all day.  Plus I want time with my son, just me and him.  The hours are limited and I am still working out that balance.  Balance is a great word for this because that is exactly what it is. Finding that balance between what I want personally and what I want for my family.  Laziness is not the answer, neither is waiting around to be inspired, because right now I feel like Beetlejuice when he is waiting for his 9,998,383,750,000 number to be called and they are now serving number 3.  It's time to make my own number 4.

Just sitting around waiting to feel good, or saying I will do that tomorrow does not push you any farther than the other side of the couch.  I am tired of feeling like crap and I have let this "funk" I have been in get the better of me.  It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get out there and make a difference.  Motivation and inspiration have escaped me as of late but I am on a quest to go and find them.  I am not sure where this journey will take me but I am finally prepared to start.