Thankful.

The past 96 hours have been rough.  Woke up Saturday morning sick as a dog.  Felt it in my body first and then in my head.  Slept, read, ate soup, fell back asleep, missed work, ate soup, slept, woke up and now it's Wednesday morning.  I am now back to work and feeling a bit better.  We also still have construction workers in our house so its hard to rest when it sounds like an old school Batman movie.  <POW> *BOOM*, but I made it work regardless.  One more week and they are gone anyway, and we will have another new bathroom.  I cannot express how happy I will be to have all this construction complete and behind us.  It has been a lot to deal with on top of all the other issues at hand.

This weekend Hila hooked me up with some "Jewish penicillin", homemade chicken soup.  Literally does wonders for the mind and body.  I have had soup for just about every meal for 4 days and it has been glorious.  Nothing like some hot chicken soup when you don't feel well.

On the bright side while being home sick I was able put down about two and half books, that is never a bad thing.  One of them, Phoenix Island, crazy good, check it out.

I still cannot workout and no updates yet on getting into the doc any sooner.  The worst part about all this is that fact that I have no clue what I am supposed to do.  I am a planner and I like to know what is going on with things.  Being in the dark on something, especially when it pertains to my body is quite troubling.  All I can do it deal with it and try to keep the stress at bay.  If I am being completely honest, that is not easy to do.  Luckily I have a wife who happens to love me, and is there when I need a shoulder.  She is, has been and will be my sanity.  I would be lost without her.  Whether it's work, life, love, stress, illness or injury, she is my rock, and for that I am Thankful.

Official diagnosis is...

A herniated disk between L4 and L5 vertebrae.  What does that mean, you say??  I'll tell you....I have no friggin clue.  I have made an appointment with a orthopedic specialist but am unable to get in until February 7th.  Until then I am pretty much in the dark.  I don't know if working out can aggravate the disc more, if I can make it worse, if working out is okay and I just have to deal with the pain.  Frankly, I just don't know.  I am reading some online but who knows how much of this applies to me.  My doctor is just reading a report given to them from the MRI peeps with instructions to see a specialist.  So now I wait another two weeks, dealing with the pain and I guess not working out.

I have watched about a hundred videos on YouTube and this one seems to be the best explanation on what is physically going on inside of me.

Here is another video but I cannot get the video embedded into the blog.
http://www.spine-health.com/video/lumbar-herniated-disc-video

I guess I wait and try to get an earlier appointment.  Any one else dealt with this issue?  What should I expect?  Any suggestions on exercises?  None at all?

Relaxed, refreshed, rejuvenated.

What an amazing weekend.  We finally got in some much needed relax time.  Of course where we were in MD it snowed the entire time and now we come home to even more snow.  It has snowed on me every day since Friday.  About eight inches there and about eight inched here.  Only January and I am already just about snowed out.  If it's going to snow at least snow two feet so I could be snowed in!

Our room at the B&B.  A little slice of heaven.

I should be getting the MRI results in today, I called yesterday and no one has yet to return my call.  A bit frustrating but with my newly found sense of euphoria (see above) I keeping calm.  I have been just about pain free for going on five days now...until today.  On our babymoon we both had massages, and oh how magical it was.  The masseuse came up to me afterwards and said she could tell something was messed up in my lower back.  I think it's kind of amazing that she was able to pinpoint the exact location of my pain just by massaging my muscles.  That massage, along with a nice hot soak in the hot tub helped my aching body tremendously.  I was like warm butter sitting next to the fireplace in our room afterwards watching Sons of Anarchy (I know I am like five years late but holy moly that show is crazy good, we are hooked).  I am not sure if I ended up doing something to aggravate my back today or if I am just given a few days peace at a time.  I hope the doc calls today and we can once and for all figure out this back business so I can finally get back to business!

After a gluttonous weekend of eating Bed and Breakfast breakfasts, lunches out and one extremely nice fine dining meal, I am back on track in full effect.  Stocked up at the grocery store, along with all the other crazies before the storm and am all set with good, healthy meals for the week.  Homemade soup and sandwiches with lean turkey and whole grain bread for lunches.  Hila the brain genius has started making some crock pot meals, last night was a balsamic soy pork tenderloin, yum.  The idea here is to make a meal, eat it, then freeze some left overs for when Baby D decides to grace us with his/her presence.  One less hour in the kitchen then, means one more hour to hold this little wonder of delight in our arms.

Here is a Diptic pic of our meal at Lautrec.  Fantastic meal, the sommelier needs a small beating over the head with a soup ladle but otherwise an absolutely fantastic dinner.  Never a terrible night sitting across the table from this beauty!!  (Oh, on a side note, you are never going to believe this but the chef for the restaurant is a Mrs. Buttersworth...you can't make this stuff up!)

I have now started packing a gym bag for that day when I feel either good enough to go workout/swim/incline walk at the gym and another bag of cold weather gear if/when I decide to head back to class.  The way I am feeling today I am thinking boot camp is at least another week away but tomorrow may be a most excellent day indeed for a swim.

Focus for this week is yet again food.  Stick to my points, all week and weekend long.  Weekend being the hard part of course.  Make it to the weigh in on Monday night and hope for a zero pound weight gain since my last weigh in on December 2nd, I weighed in at 211.8 pounds that night.  I will be happy with a zero since that will mean over the holidays I did not gain weight.  Not easy to do these days!

Sand, X-ray, babymoon.

Counting food intake - 47 points
Relaxing night at home - yes please
Staying up half the night reading Sand by Hugh Howey - Priceless

That is what my yesterday consisted of.  Wanted to get to bed early, its been an exhausting few days, oh the wonder that is life.  While I did get to bed early, I ended up getting into the nitty gritty (get it...sand) of this book and spent half the night finishing it.  Well worth it my friends, well worth it indeed.

Today will be much of the same.  Relax, read, rest back.  Actually today I am not in excruciating pain, yeay go me.  I lasted until about 1 PM yesterday before I could not take it anymore and took my meds.  X-ray results are already in and are negative, as expected.  Tomorrow I have an MRI.  This should show us what we need to know.  Finally getting somewhere with all this.  Next step fixing it.

Focus for this evening is on food.  I have counted all day today and all day yesterday.  Keep this going all week and that will be something.  This weekend we are off to a B&B with absolutely zero control over what we will be eating for at least one meal a day.  Just need to make sure we make smart choices during lunches and maybe enjoy ourselves during dinner.  This is our babymoon, so we will need to enjoy the time we have left, just the two of us.  In just over nine weeks, it will always be the three of us (and Chow).  Wait a minute, if we have a girl that means it will be me and three females in the house.  What have I gotten myself into...??

Looking for that peace of mind.

There are two things in life that when not properly maintained seem to affect everything else in my life.  First a clean house, I thrive when my house is the cleanest.  I open the blinds, I love being home, it's easier to get up in the morning, and I am just more comfortable when the house is clean.  For the last month or so the house has been in absolute disarray.  We have two rooms currently under construction in the house.  The hallway guest bathroom and the nursery.  Other than a fresh coat of ceiling paint and some nursery room furniture assembly, these rooms are just about complete.  At least we are rapidly approaching the time where we wake up in a clean, non-construction site house everyday, so this part of my life will soon come back to some sense of normalcy.

Secondly is working out. It's my stress reliever, it's my calm after a storm, it's my natural sleep aid.  It's everything to me.  As mentioned before I have been slightly frustrated.  After my second doctor's visit I have been instructed to get an X-ray and a MRI.  I am off to get the X-ray today.  I was thinking that things were starting to get better the past few days, so today I have decided to hold off, for a long as I can, on taking any medication.  Already regretting that decision.  Yesterday I felt like a complete blob of crap by the end of the day.  Muscle relaxers plus pain medication plus frustration plus no workout equals a Bobbycrapcake.  I hate the feeling of staying medicated, it is beyond mind numbing.  I realize it's a necessary evil but at this point it is only masking the pain, not actually helping me get better.  I am hoping after these tests we can figure out what the H-E-double hockey stick is going on with my back.

Back to the whole workout thing.  Much like how a clean house helps me keep my life in order, not working out has an equal opposite effect.  When I workout consistently, I am much more aware of what I am eating and I am more aware of writing down.  I have found that since I am not working out I am just naturally letting other things in my life slip as well.  I have not yet read the Abs Diet book, (not that I could do any of the abs part anyway, but still) I have not actively been writing down all my food intake, I have been less motivated at work, (might have something to do with the meds as well).  I am slipping and it's only mid-January, not even really mid yet.  Not good.  It's not that I have been eating badly because I have not, I just have not been consistent with making sure I am eating within my point allowance.  I am sure that I have gone over.  If I don't track I go over, it's not one of those things where maybe I eat less, I mean let's be real, I am an eater through and through.  I wish I only ate to live but the reality is that I live to eat.  I just need to make sure I live within the realm of normal people and that is not the case when I don't write down.

I need to figure out that happy medium between not being able to workout and maintaining the rest of the aspects of my life.  That is hard to do, I am struggling to find that peace of mind during this time of injury.  Maybe I should just go home and clean.

Second trip to the doc.

I am S.T.ruggling with this back issue.  Going on three weeks and still not getting any better.  I am off to the doctor again today at noon and maybe the Chiropractor as well.  Muscle relaxers don't help so that is telling me it's not just a muscle spasm.  This cannot continue like this, sometimes I am in so much pain that I find myself lashing out at someone (even my wife, sorry love), and also finding it hard to work at times.  Last night the pain was shooting down my left leg, something is definitely misfiring in the old spine.  I am overly frustrated with this whole issue and am extremely anxious to get this fixed.

I wanted to walk the other day, or swim, but never made it out to either.  Before I can commit to doing even the easiest of exercises I need to fix this.  Fingers crossed for some good news at noon.  I need it.

Frustrated.

Frustration is consuming me.  Yesterday I snapped at someone on a call for work, yes he was kind of being an A-hole but I am usually pretty good at keeping my cool.  Yesterday not so much.  From the moment I got up until the moment I went to bed I was just plain angry.  At the time I thought it was for no apparent reason, now I know it was stress related.  Stress can and does turn you into a mad man, a raving lunatic sometimes, if it is not managed somehow.  Snapping at friends, family, co-workers, getting frustrated over the smallest of issues.  Stress can be an ugly beast if you don't find ways to relieve it.  For me, going on three years or so it has been leaving work and driving straight to boot camp.  I could be having the worst day ever, work consuming my thoughts, pissing me off all day, until my workout is over.  Once complete, calm as a hindu cow.  I have found that after a workout the thoughts of work do not even enter my mind, I get home, relax, sleep like a baby and get up and do it all over again.

This not working out is starting to catch up to me.  I am letting the stress, take over.  Actually I am not letting it, it is just happening.  I need to get out and do something.  Go for a walk, break a sweat, something.  One more day rest and tomorrow my plan is to do something.  I am not sure if I am up for going to class just yet, but maybe an incline walk on the treadmill at the gym.  This is what I would do when I needed to workout after my shoulder surgery.  I found a few incline walking workouts and just did it, sling and all.  Definitely got a few strange looks from people, but hey it worked for me, so I worked it.  This was also much harder than I anticipated.  #12 incline at 4 MPH is not easy.

I am to the point now where some kind of activity is a must and tomorrow is the day.  They finally opened the pool at my gym, maybe I will check that out as well.

Goal for tomorrow is to be frustration free!

This is how I eat all the time.

First full work week in what seems like forever.  First time weighing in in weeks.  First full week of counting points for a full seven days.  First full week of the new year and still no working out.  A lot of firsts after the first of the year.  I plan on re-reading the Abs Diet book again, which I wanted to do already but have not had a chance just yet.  I did speak with the wife and we have already started to incorporate some of the super foods (I will get more into that in another post later this week) into our meals.  This week, same as always, Hila has been steady hooking me up with crazy healthy meals.  I am so lucky.

Chicken sausage with roasted broccoli, rice and a side salad.  (12 points)

Over medium eggs with Canadian bacon on an English muffin with a hash brown, black berries and tomato.  (11 points)

Chicken meatloaf with Brussels sprouts, rice and a side salad.  (13 points)

This is how I eat all the time.  All day everyday.  She makes it easy for me to eat well.

The hard part comes with a co-worker bring in a ginormous plate of cookies, brownies and cookie/brownie combo thingys.  (3-4 points a piece, about 160 points on that plate)

Yes I want to eat one but I want to loose weight and stick to the plan even more.  Since I know I can't workout and am burning something like 400 some calories less a day I need to be even more aware of what it is that I am or am not eating.  #WYCWYC.

I am not sure if/when I will be able to go back to class but in a few days maybe I will be well enough to go and only push it to about 50%.  Light jogging, stretching, NO BURPEES!!!  Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery.  Two weeks of not working out is killing me.  Cannot wait to get back to it!

WYCWYC

Two to four weeks.  Ouch.  That is my estimated recovery time.  I have a severe muscle spasm in my lower back.  Right here.

At this point there is nothing I can do but wait and try to stretch it out.  The doctor said the muscle was so tight it felt like there was a rock in there.  She hit me with a shot in the butt for pain and gave me some muscle relaxers for the nighttime.  Needless to say slept like a baby last night.  Unfortunately I woke up with the same pain as yesterday but as the doc said, it will take some time.  Two to four weeks...

Because I cannot workout I need to make sure I focus on what I can do.  Food.  Maintaining my food points for the next few weeks is paramount.  Obstacles are placed in front of us all day everyday, doing What You Can, When You Can will allow you so be less hindered and still achieve your goals.  Unfortunately the obstacles never stop and always find ways to creep in.  Right now I cannot workout because of my back, in less than three months we will have a baby, there will be bad weather, there will be social functions, there is always something that will be in your way no matter where it is you are going.  So the key is to do what you can when you can, #WYCWYC.  I am writing this down on a little piece of paper and putting it in my pocket as a constant reminder to keep focused.  Just because I cannot workout does not mean that I should just forget about everything else as well.  

If you cannot control your food, like with us in Florida, then do what you can when you can.  We focused on working out everyday and spent more time on portion control.  WYCWYC.  I had not heard this expression until yesterday.  Hila the brain genius, once again to the rescue.  I love it.  If you can't make it to boot camp class or the gym, go out and run  If class is cancelled do to weather, do your own workout in the basement.  If you can't use your upper body (like me for 3 months with my shoulder issues) go out for a walk or go to a spin class.  Do something, anything.  Don't let one issue bring you down completely.  There is always something the can be done.  

As for today I am set with meals and snacks.  Hila once again sent me off with a delicious egg wrap, with Canadian bacon and a tomato.  I have clementines, strawberries, yogurt, and a low fat cheese stick for snacks.  All very healthy and all deliciously delectable.

Even with the snow today find something to do that's active.  Take a walk, head up the gym, if you can't do any of these then try a 5-4-3-2-1 workout in the living room while watching Breaking Bad reruns, or if you are wobbling around like me just focus on eating well.  What you can when you can!  Do it.  

Not quite back to it yet...

7th day in a row of the same lower back pain means this old man is taking a trip to the good old doctor.  Just when you think something may be getting better, the pain wakes you up in the morning.  I am not a scientist or a brain surgeon or anything but I am pretty sure that is not good.  We will see what the heck is going on today at 11:40.  Wish me luck.