I am not a zombie...

Holy sore gluteus maximus, (butt cheeks, derriere, backside, rump, caboose, pick your term, I don't care, backside, bum, posterior, fanny, yes I can keep going) it hurts.  Tom once told me that best the way to crush a grown man was to thrash his legs for an hour.  That is how I feel today.  Offset squats, knee benders, side step squats with resistance, backwards resisted band running (yes you read that right...backwards, trust me it's hard), but it was the dang leaping lunges that are such a pain in the rear aspect, see I told you.  Those things are brutal.  I have spoken with three boot campers this morning and the very first words out of each their mouths were, "Damn I am pretty sore from yesterday".  And that was all before 8 AM.  Ha!  The soreness has not even set in yet and all of us are S, T, rugglin, tomorrow should be interesting.  Right now I am sitting, it's not so bad, but in a few minutes I am going to get up from my desk where I have been sitting for over an hour, and walk down the hallway by my receptionist and she is going to ask me if everything is okay.  "Why do you ask?"  "Well, Bobby, you are stumbling about like one of the Walking Dead."  "No, Betty, I am not a zombie, yesterday was just leg day."  Nothing is easy the two days following leg day...and by nothing I mean absolutely nothing.  Luckily for me there are two set of stairs I have to take to get to and from my office and the front door.  Yeay me!

If at first you don't succeed...

Thank you Tom for the absolute butt kicking last night.  This time yesterday I was thinking how lovely it would be to not be able to move at work tomorrow.  Hey look at that success!!  I set out to do something and I did it.  I cannot move today at all and it's not quite 10 yet.  Imagine how successful I will feel this afternoon when the soreness has really settled in.  I am hoping to be curled up in a ball under my desk pulling a super sweet George Costanza, with my alarm clock and all.

Unfortunately, no workout tonight, I have my writing class.  I so look forward to this class each week and with last week's class being cancelled we should have twice the fun getting our creative writing juices flowing tonight.  Maybe after a few re-reads and edits I will find a way to make that last sentence sound less dirty.  We have only written one assignment so far and feel I wrote an excellent little story, we will see how the rest of the assignments go in the coming weeks.  After speaking with the instructor one evening I asked if she was willing to edit my Clydesdale story for me, even though it had already been submitted.  She agreed and said it was "not half bad".  This coming from a professional writer and me never having written anything of substance before, I absolutely take that as a great compliment!!  One day with some extra time I will make the edits and changes we spoke of and post it again on the blog.  I did find out that I was unfortunately not the winner of the Dirt Rag Magazine Literature Contest, the issue with the winning story was released this month (yes, the winning story was pretty damn good).  Stupid good-for-nothing judges...  Oh well, next year I will try try again!

Sore today strong tomorrow.

Beep, beep, beep.  The alarm blares as he rolls over and reaches for the snooze button.  To snooze for nine more minutes may be the most important thing in the world at this moment.  His arm though seems shorter and stiff, harder to move the way he intends.  With much effort he finds the snooze button and his mind begins the confused thinking of why his arm seems different.  Drifting off to sleep he tries to re-position himself to find that warm spot in the bed, only to find that his legs also are not moving as they should.  As his mind continues to wander, now past the point of being able to sleep, he decides to get up and start the day.  Sitting up seems impossible though, his legs not the valiant trunks they once were, his abs screaming as if they are being used for the first time.  With a slight moan and a few cracks as the bones adjust themselves, he stands and begins to stumble to the bathroom.  The cracks and moans continue as he makes his way from the bed and his mind begins to remember why he feels this way.  He is reminded of the previous evening's events that have lead him to this present moment of pain.  He is reminded of the feeling of using his arms, his abs, his legs, his back for the first time in weeks.  Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he remembers going to bootcamp last night and thinking he could run sprints with the big boys in the freezing cold.  The memory of the push ups pushes its way to the surface his brain, the pain in his chest and arms immediately apparent.  Warming up the shower never seemed like a better idea.  Stepping in, the whole shower steaming, water as hot as he can take it, instantly soothing his muscles.  He knows the day will be rough, slow going, and come evening, snow or not, he gets to do it all over again.  Not a hot shower, not a full day of stretching, not all the time in the world soothes sore muscles like another workout.

The meal where everything went wrong.

2 PM.  2 PM is the magical hour when the soreness settles in.  Today I can feel it coming on strong.  Sprints on Monday, legs and shoulders last night = SORE Wednesday.  Both days, 1.5 classes.  Again tonight and Thursday as well.  I'm sure I will be a stumbling mess on my hot date Friday night if I am able to get these jello legs to work properly.  I walked (using this term loosely here, more of a staggered shuffle) across the office and after seeing my less than stunning gait my receptionist asked me if everything was okay, I said yes, Tom just got a hold of me...

Last night my beautiful wife decided to make a delicious dinner, as she always does.  Shrimp Curry.  Delish.  So pregnant brain starts with sauteing the butternut squash and broccoli.  Issue # 1 - No broccoli.  Solution # 1 - Substitute asparagus instead.   Next add the shrimp to the saute pan.  Issue # 2 - Not enough shrimp for a full meal.  Solution # 2 - Make this amount of shrimp work by cutting them into smaller pieces.  Next, to get a jump on things, she decides to steam the rice.  Issue # 3 - No rice.  Solution # 3 - Quinoa instead.  Now to top off any curry dish the last important ingredient is none other than coconut milk.  Issue # 4 - No coconut milk.  Solution # 4 - Half and half.  Needless to say we are calling this "the meal where anything that could go wrong did".  Well anything except for the flavor.  Holy hell this dinner was awesome and only 8 points including the quinoa.  Somehow pregnant brain turned this around to straight magical brain genius and now I am calling this "the meal where everything went wrong but came out oh so right!"  It was fantastic, my only hope is she saved enough so there are leftovers for tonight!