I want to see what happens if I don't.

Bobby - 2, Runs - 0. Killed it again last night, another non-stop 4.5 mile run. You know, as hot as it was last night the run felt a little easier, well until the last mile. The last mile about killed me but I felt great until then. Definitely had to dig deep last night to keep running the last few hundred yards. For the first three plus miles all I could hear (other then my iPod) was that little white angel helping me along, "Go, Bobby, go!!", and then damn you last mile because the little devil took the microphone and kicked the angel to the curb, "Go ahead stop, it will feel sooo good." It would have felt great to stop because I was exhausted and I had been running in 93 degree heat for 40 some minutes but giving up would never feel as good as knowing I ran the whole thing. Pain is temporary, but the quitting would stick with me much longer. I kept thinking about my wife, how strong she is, how she motives me so much, how much I wanted to tell her that I did it again, that I ran without stopping. I wanted the high five she hits me with as soon as I walk in the house with that smile on my face, the smile of accomplishment. For the last bit of the run, it was her voice in my head that helped me when the going got real tough. Instead of following the old Bobby path of making excuses why I couldn't, I looked for reasons why I could. I just decided to focus on finishing instead of thinking about why I should stop. I already know what giving up feels like, I want to see what happens if I don't.

I am a runner.

Run one for the week done and done. I think I have run Burke Lake something like twelve times in the last couple of weeks. Twice I have been able to do it without walking, oh I'm sorry, make that three times after last night, BOOYAH!! Let's get something straight right off the bat, I don't feel like I have ever been a runner, it's not something that has agreed with me very much. It's hard for me to run, always has been. I do think running is absolutely necessary though in order to be physically fit, it's pretty much a yard stick for me on how fit someone actually is. You may have the biggest bulging biceps in the world but that does not mean you can run a mile without stopping. I have found that running is an incredibly useful tool in regards to health, fitness, and all around well being. I finished the run last night and while I was tired, I felt fantastic. A runners high. All the stress of the day was gone, work was completely forgotten, and I was even more excited to be home with my family. Maybe I am a runner, I may not love the act of running but I love everything that follows. I am not a fast runner so maybe in my head I think that I need to be able to run a six minute mile consistently to be a runner. The fact of the matter is, I went out and ran. I put one foot in front of the other, over and and over and over again. That makes me a runner. I may not be the fastest but still I am a runner. A twelve minute mile is just as far as a six minute mile. Tonight I will try to run the lake again without stopping. I will try to do it a little bit faster. I will focus on the end of the run rather than the moment itself when it hurts. Funny thing about a run is that they all end, yes it may hurt but it will end. I'll crank up the iPod, I'll push harder, I'll know the end is in sight. I will do this, I am a runner.

I can. I will. End of story.

It's been 221 days since my last blog post. If we were travelling to Mars, we would be about half way home at this point. That is too long. I have lost track in more ways than one. I need to get back to writing and keeping better track of my eating and working out. It's so easy to slip once, and then again and then again until you are just no longer following any type of plan other than when exactly it's time to break back out the fat clothes. I am not to that point yet but by golly it's getting close. Too close.

I previously spoke of my troubles with keeping up with boot camp while still trying to be healthy and a good husband and father. Read about it here. Well, I still have not been going to class much and have opted to cancel my account for a while. That does not mean I have not been working out, I have just been trying to find a schedule that allows more then an hour a day with my family. For the last few weeks that has been running Burke Lake. I am averaging 3 runs a week right now, with a goal of making it 4 runs this week. Right now running is working for me and I have been enjoying it, so I am sticking with what works. With a run, I still get in a workout and I don't get that overwhelming nagging feeling that I am not being there for my son. A run win-win. When you ask? Tonight.

Next week we are at the beach for a week. For. A. Whole. Week. OMG may I share that I am beyond excited? My goal is some kind of workout everyday. A boardwalk run with Hila and Eli in the running stroller, a beach run, an at home boot camp class, something, anything, as long as it involves moving and breaking a sweat, once a day, everyday.

I have been thinking that I needed to start writing again for a few weeks now and as soon as I start to forget about it again someone brings it up. "Hey Bobby, what ever happened to the blog?" Well, you know what friend, here it is. I'm back and I have missed you terribly. Writing keeps me focused, it keeps me grounded, it keeps me in check. Without it I lose focus, it becomes easier to put off a workout, I lose a sense of accountability. I need this in my life. I need you. This blog is another tool that helps me succeed, I just need to start using that tool again to help me find my success. I can. I will. End of story.

15,000 steps a day

It feels so good when hard work pays off. We weighed in last night and I dropped 2.4 pounds. What an amazing feeling. I worked hard all week and I love that I actually get to see and feel the results. This gives me even more motivation to keep moving and working out for another week. More step goals, more boot camp classes and more running.

I am still trying to figure out this whole step goal operation because I am only now finding out how many steps I take on a normal day. For example here are my steps since Saturday:

Saturday - 19,532. This includes a boot camp class, a walk with Hila and Eli and being home all day just being a husband and father. I also hit 10,000 steps before noon.
Sunday - 20,579. This includes a run at the gym and being home all day (chasing Eli around the house is an easy couple thousand steps a day). Also hit 10,000 steps before noon.
Monday - 20,000. Went to boot camp at 6 AM but did not hit 10,000 steps by noon since I took a most beloved nap while Eli slept, and yes it was glorious. I mean who gets up to go to bootcamp at 6 AM on a day off???
Tuesday - 16,050. Three mile run and a 20 min walk during lunch. Also a work day so much of the day was spent sitting.
Wednesday - 10,011. Now this is where things get interesting. I worked all day, and it snowed so I did not take any walks. I also went to Weight Watchers right after work so there was no workout involved. This tells me that on an average, normal day I take 10,000 steps with little to no effort.

My original goal was to take 10,000 steps a day but if I am already taking that many steps a day it is not really much of a goal. My new goal will be to take 15,000 steps a day. In order to do this on a work day I have to work out. Unless I am out on a jobsite for the better part of the day, I will never get to this step count without trying to do so. I like this goal. I like that it puts into perspective when I am and when I am not moving enough.

Plan for tonight is boot camp with a mile run before hand. We have a family challenge going on right now and I am getting beat by my wife, Hila is ALWAYS beating me in fitness challenges, she is a friggin beast, so with only today and tomorrow left I need to step up my game,

Fitbit

There has been much fitness talk afoot here as of late. I have not posted in many moons but that does not mean that it has not been on my mind.  I have been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of sole searching, thinking of fitness and running (get it sole...okay I'm done) and weight loss and an all around improvement in my general health. It is safe to say at this point that I fell off the deep end the past few months. The holidays are tough regardless and not fitting in workouts only exacerbates the problem further. Needless to say we are back to Weight Watchers and back to a firm fitness plan. My last weigh in came in at a whopping 231 pounds. Wow, that is the heaviest I have been in at least six or seven years. No bueno. Time to change.

I have felt a bit hypocritical and it has prevented me from writing. I talk and write about making time and finding that balance but have not done so myself. That has bothered me significantly. Now that my priorities have changed in life by starting a family I have struggled with this balance more than I would have thought possible. I am getting closer to figuring everything out and that has only been by setting small goals and striving towards achieving them. I will write about each of these goals more in upcoming posts but a big step towards setting and achieving these goals has been getting a Fitbit. For the holidays Hila and I pre-ordered the Fitbit Charge HR, well they just came in this past week. Needless to say, this has changed things for our household. Since getting the Fitbit I have hit 20,000 steps each day. While I don't think 20,000 steps is a workout in itself, I can tell you for sure that it has motivated us to move more. I received this from Amazon on Friday evening, first thing Saturday morning I went out to bootcamp. I literally cannot tell you the last time I went to to a Saturday morning bootcamp class. BAM hit 10,000 steps before noon. My goal per day was 10,000 steps a day so this was definitely a good start. Hit the gym for a quick run on Sunday. Back to bootcamp Monday morning again. I know this is new and that is playing a part in the excitement of all this but after today I will hit four workouts in a row. A feat that has been forgotten for longer than I want to admit. All that said I have been off work for the past three days. Today may paint a different picture since I have to sit at my desk for the better part of eight straight hours. I am aware now that I need to move more. Currently I am at 2,400 steps. Maybe I will got for a walk during my lunch, needlessly walk downstairs just so I have to get up and move, or push for a longer run with Brent tonight. More steps is the result of more moving, more moving results in more activity, and more activity means better health. It's a step, or many steps in the right direction.