FOCUS

There are two things I have been struggling with as of late, both of which have kept me from coming to class or working out on a regular basis.

1. Injuries - I used to think I was unbreakable. Never sick, never hurt, never broke a bone, just like Bruce Willis in the movie. Now it seems all I do is deal with injuries. First and foremost is my shoulder (which is the cause of all my other injuries). It has been almost two years since my surgery and I am not much better off. The doc said there was a chance that I would never get my shoulder strength back 100%. I think he may be right. I cannot hold the push up position for very long which affects all types of exercises, push ups obviously, burpees, mountain climbers, plank, and so on. Essentially what I have is an old crumbly rubber band of a rotator cuff left, just like the one in the back of your junk drawer. The elasticity is gone, because of this weakness on my left side my shoulder blades are no longer aligned causing a whole mess of back issues as well. I am a mess. All I can do is work through it and hope it gets better. I get discouraged that I can't do what I used to be able to do. The discouragement leads to doubt and doubt leads to laziness and laziness leads to skipping class. Add this on top of note two below and I am lucky to fit in two workouts a week.

2. Eli - Everyday I am not home with my son is a struggle. I wake up and leave the house before he gets up. If I workout I get home about 7 PM, an hour before he has to go to bed. Hila and I work together to get him fed, bathed and ready for bed. Before you know it, it's 8 PM. One hour is not enough time with him. This more than anything else has kept me from working out. I want to be home with him, to hold him, to kiss him, and one hour is not enough time. Yesterday Hila told a friend that she was off to pick up Eli from daycare so I could workout. The friend's response was "He still works out? After our baby, we gave that up?" Really?? Gave it up? We are trying to live a health active lifestyle there is no way we can give this up. The struggle is finding that balance between both. Anyone who has met Eli, or even seen a picture of him can see that he is quite literally the happiest baby alive. He smiles, he laughs, he barely cries. He is amazing. Hila and I have spoken many times about this and contribute much of his happiness to the fact that Hila was in such good health during her pregnancy. I mean she went to boot camp the morning she went into labor and still kicked just about everyone's butt in class. Beast mode level 1000. We need to keep this up, but how? How do you manage what you have to do with what you want to do? I have started thinking that working out is just something that I want to do, where it should be something that I HAVE to do. My old trainer said he could set his watch by how often I came to class, now it's once maybe twice a week. I have to get back to the old mindset of the level of importance of physical fitness. I feel like I am looking at a blurry picture of myself, I can see the old me there I just need to focus. I am still working all this out, how to manage this, how to fit it all in and still be a good husband and father. Maybe I need to hit the gym more, focus on weekend workouts, get up earlier and go to the gym. All of these are different than what I am used to but the course I am on now just ain't cutting it. I need to FOCUS on Following One Course Until Successful. That course will change, and change often but adjusting and figuring it out will make me that much stronger in the long run.